Motherhood With a Price Tag

Motherhood in every woman's life comes as the priceless moment. But is it so...there is a price tag attached to it.

By Ranita Sinha, Kolkata

Human nature always have an inclination to turn simple things complex. As we Bishnupriya Manipuri also fall in this category, how could we be lacking behind.Rather, it will not be wrong to say that we are a step ahead compared to others.

Earlier there was a custom prevalent in our society- where a pregnant lady was fed a meal by her parents on the 7th or 9th month of her pregnancy, with different kinds of delicacies of her choice. Also a few of the elderly relatives and neighbors were invited for the feast.

This custom is prevalent in almost all Indian communities. Bengali people call this Sadh Bhokhon. I do not know the exact Bishnupriya Manipuri term for this custom but in general it is called "Baat Khowani". I do not either know the exact motive or belief behind it but I find it very sweet and emotional gesture.

Earlier it was very simple. On the particular day of "Baat Khowani"the parents would visit their daughter's house with all the necessary arrangements for the feast. They would even bring persons to cook along with them and prepare everything by themselves.

Once the food was ready, it was first served for the would be mother. She, on the other hand was supposed to eat the food wearing the new clothes brought by her parents. After that the food was served to all. The invited relatives and neighbors start eating the food with good wishes and blessings for the would be mother and child.

But nowadays this simple and sweet custom is replaced by pomp and show of status. Now a new clause has been added to it, i.e. the custom to bring gifts(mainly cloths) for all the members of the family along with their daughter's. As it is known to all that most of the families in villages are joint and as such have many members and bringing gifts for all means an additional expense.

This custom may be affordable for a few well-to-do ones. But it is well known to all, as to how many well-to-do families we have in our community. So, most of the people of our society who lead a hand to mouth life, this gifting trend is an added burden and an unneccessary ritual yet we are sitting numb and it is gaining momentum drastically, mainly in villages.

Now parents think twice before going to their daughter's place for "Baat Khowani". Now instead of thinking themselves to be fortunate enough to be would be grand parents, most of them feel burdened.

The custom of gifting does not end here. As return gifts again the parents and relatives whoever comes are gifted with clothes or money. Thus, one can see how a plain and simple custom has been made complex and convoluted.

Slowly and steadily a day will come when this custom will loose all the sentiments and emotions added to it, because then it will be more of materialistic than emotional; and in this way someday this custom of "Baat Khowani" will loose its essence.

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