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Motherhood With a Price Tag

Motherhood in every woman's life comes as the priceless moment. But is it so...there is a price tag attached to it.

By Ranita Sinha, Kolkata


Human nature always have an inclination to turn simple things complex. As we Bishnupriya Manipuri also fall in this category, how could we be lacking behind.Rather, it will not be wrong to say that we are a step ahead compared to others.


Earlier there was a custom prevalent in our society- where a pregnant lady was fed a meal by her parents on the 7th or 9th month of her pregnancy, with different kinds of delicacies of her choice. Also a few of the elderly relatives and neighbors were invited for the feast.

This custom is prevalent in almost all Indian communities. Bengali people call this Sadh Bhokhon. I do not know the exact Bishnupriya Manipuri term for this custom but in general it is called "Baat Khowani". I do not either know the exact motive or belief behind it but I find it very sweet and emotional gesture.

Earlier it was very simple. On the particular day of "Baat Khowani"the parents would visit their daughter's house with all the necessary arrangements for the feast. They would even bring persons to cook along with them and prepare everything by themselves.

Once the food was ready, it was first served for the would be mother. She, on the other hand was supposed to eat the food wearing the new clothes brought by her parents. After that the food was served to all. The invited relatives and neighbors start eating the food with good wishes and blessings for the would be mother and child.

But nowadays this simple and sweet custom is replaced by pomp and show of status. Now a new clause has been added to it, i.e. the custom to bring gifts(mainly cloths) for all the members of the family along with their daughter's. As it is known to all that most of the families in villages are joint and as such have many members and bringing gifts for all means an additional expense.

This custom may be affordable for a few well-to-do ones. But it is well known to all, as to how many well-to-do families we have in our community. So, most of the people of our society who lead a hand to mouth life, this gifting trend is an added burden and an unneccessary ritual yet we are sitting numb and it is gaining momentum drastically, mainly in villages.

Now parents think twice before going to their daughter's place for "Baat Khowani". Now instead of thinking themselves to be fortunate enough to be would be grand parents, most of them feel burdened.

The custom of gifting does not end here. As return gifts again the parents and relatives whoever comes are gifted with clothes or money. Thus, one can see how a plain and simple custom has been made complex and convoluted.

Slowly and steadily a day will come when this custom will loose all the sentiments and emotions added to it, because then it will be more of materialistic than emotional; and in this way someday this custom of "Baat Khowani" will loose its essence.

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Comments

  1. Hi Ranita

    Madam, U deserve a trophy....the topics u choose are just awesom.....small issues in a big way....r u inspired by Arundhati Roy...jokes apart.... I liked the tpoic and ur unique style of presentation...

    Well.. i will say all the changes in customs... are the reparcussions of the K- type melodramatic daily soaps come to the ideot box...

    ReplyDelete
  2. another favourite topic from my fabourite writer. long live ranita...

    ReplyDelete
  3. BN bhaiyya have pointed out a major social problem in today's society...The K-serials have more than just entertainment...It's spoiling social customs...People want to follow those characters, and in the process, are losing their own individuality...

    Well, I want to say one thing...Kailashahar, from where i come from is free from the custom of gifts as said by Ranitadi...It's just the feast as usual and no other added customs...I thank villagers of Kailashahar for that...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks to u all for spending ur valuable time reading my posts..

    @ Mr.BN hehehe i m no Arundhuti Roy, these are just the small issues which always disturbed me from inside..so thought of sharing through these platform..

    @ Mr.Ashim thanks for giving me such a big 'upadhi'..to get a small complement from a person like u is always a reason for me to celebrate in a big way..but now to know that u consider me as ur favourite writer(though u might hv written it flattering me), I find myself in cloud nine..

    I don't know how i write but after 7 years of disconnection with pen and paper, now after constant nagging from Rishikesh Sinha m here struggling and trying to jot down a few words..

    Thanks to all of u once again..

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anita writes"I do not either know the exact motive or belief behind "baat khowani".I would rather say, that people used to believe that obtaining motherhood was very critical during delivery period as there never used to be any medical back up available and there were rare chances of their survival(infant or mother).In our younger days we used to hear (1)sougo jorom dite morli (2)sougo jorom oyai moreel
    (3)jorom denaar pore rokot hane morli,sougou moreel.So, during the
    7th nd 9th month of pregnancy,the relatives arranged for feast as mentioned in the article.But now
    it has given an ugly turn ie social evil.In other words,some people want to show their money power and others are just following blindly.

    ReplyDelete

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